Use "I Statements"
And Set the Right Tone

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Use "I Statements"

Another way to keep the conversation positive is to use "I statements," expressions that get your point of view across without blaming your teen or getting their defenses up. These statements can also defuse conflict and enhance listening. Examples of "I statements" include:

"I would like to hear more about your feelings about driving" and

"I think we need to spend more time discussing this."

For example, instead of saying, "You aren't devoting enough time to practicing your driving," consider saying "I am not sure we have scheduled enough practice driving time. Let's talk about that."

"I statements" may feel a bit uncomfortable at first. But you'd be surprised how effective they can be at improving communication with your teen.

Set The Right Tone

To a teen, a condescending tone is an instant turnoff. Even though you may have to put your foot down at times, you can get your teen's ear faster by using a tone of voice that says you're communicating as equals.

It also helps to speak calmly. When parents yell, teens often shut down, making it difficult to get through. You may even find that your teen accuses you of yelling when you're speaking calmly. That's because teens can have difficulty correctly reading emotion in voices and body language. Staying calm may not always avoid these situations, but it definitely helps.

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